Madame Z

Madame Z is a singer/songwriter and multi-faceted creative talent whose music has been described as jazzy neo soul with a rock edge.

Interview conducted September 12, 2020

By Dan Locke

Madame Z’s forthcoming single, A Dark History, will be available on all streaming platforms October 30th!

What is your upbringing?

I was raised in a conservative, low-class and very strictly religious household. Think “fundamental/evangelical” Christianity here. No Santa, creationism was law, and Halloween was for the devil. I was born on Cape Cod, Massachusetts (more specifically, Provincetown), but raised mostly throughout the upstate New York area. My parents moved several times from there, finally settling just outside of Nashville, TN where I attended high school. My dad was a retired navy vet and often in-between jobs…plus I think it was just in his blood to travel. Must be where I get it from.

How did you discover music?

My earliest memories of music were church-related or were of albums played from the old record player my parents kept in our living room. That being said, my father is a drummer (from a previous life) and plays some guitar. I remember watching him write songs as a child, although most were religious in nature. I heard very little music outside of hymns, Christian musicians, or a list of theatre/musicals that I was privy to in my early adolescence until I hit my early teenage years (as many do) and I finally was able to “break free” into everything that had previously been off-limits- everything that lived inside of what was labeled “secular music”. A lot of rock. A lot of hip-hop. A lot of metal. Very relatable to Jam in Detroit Rock City (although I don’t think my parents ever actually burned any of my concert tickets). I was also a pretty smart kid and knew how to readily circumvent where necessary (sorry, mom!).

How did you start to write music?

I started writing poetry as early as I can remember. I was always surrounded by bible and nursery rhymes and enjoyed rhyming and writing my own poems. As I got older (and I started realizing how much of a black sheep I truly was) writing and reading became my only form of escape- like a secret world of my own. Paper was the only friend I had that would hold my secrets and never betray me. I loved the magic and power that words held and the ability to twist and manipulate them to convey what I had locked inside. Playing with lyrics in a very whimsical manner became an endless adventure. In high school I continued my writing, which took me into theatre and forensics/debate competitions and a list of other writing competitions. I wrote poetry that I had published in an anthology when I was 15 and around the same time, I started singing backup in a church youth band. I was eventually invited to sing/write with a local metal band and then a jazz group. Played a few shows here and there (mainly house parties), also jammed with a couple of other bands of various genres over the next couple of years (nothing serious) until I hit a pretty dark era in my life and music took the back burner for quite some time. I lost sight of who I was, ended up going down some pretty dark roads and surrounding myself with not the best of characters. People I allowed convince me that I was of little or no value. I put myself into a corner and it took years for me to dig my way out. It was honestly something I had lost complete confidence in and thought I would never have in my life again. Funny how the universe sometimes brings you full circle.

How did you come up with your jazzy neo sound with a rock edge?

I think it’s just an amalgamation of everything that has ever influenced my soul. I’ve always loved and been drawn to music- I guess it’s just part of who I am. And I love all genres (err…. mostly) and have been inspired by musicians across multiple times and throughout many geographies and cultures. When I was studying cultural anthropology as an undergrad, I took a summer ethnomusicology class that truly changed my life forever. We spent most of the summer just listening to music from all around the work and dissecting its many sounds and cultural influences. It was an incredible experience that permanently impacted my life ….in many ways. Music is a universal language and oftentimes you don’t even need words- it’s truly a remarkable and wonderful thing. I can’t really explain where the words and melodies come from in my own music (aside from my own experiences) … and maybe it’s something that is better left to mystery. A lot of the “sound” outside of my vocals (particularly on the album) really comes from the talent I’ve just “accidentally” happened to stumble across (or them I?) through BandLab…which I also discovered through a series of “accidental” occurrences.

How did you get your first guitar, and do you still have it?

I just want to be clear that I am in NO way a guitarist. I struggle to pump through a handful of solid chords. I just really love strumming around on it when the mood hits or if I just want to finger-pick around for a while to come up with a new song or melody. Kind of on the same page with piano. I am in no way a pianist but it’s great to use for songwriting! I purchased my own guitar for the first time about 4 years ago. Just about the time I started getting back into music. Actually- I got my son a guitar for Christmas and I couldn’t stop jamming on it, so I turned around and bought one for myself. My dad always had a guitar when I was growing up that I would snag from time to time when no one was looking but I never owned one.

What was your first performance like?

Well, that’s a challenging question. My first performance singing in front of a live audience was years ago. I truthfully can’t remember the first time, but I definitely remember pushing through some lonely moments with only a backtrack and my shaky voice to carry it through. Or no backtrack whatsoever. Maybe why I’m not super intimated by acapella? But my first performance as Madame Z solo with only my own original songs was only last year- on November 8, 2019. Not even a year ago. I literally had JUST started performing again when COVID reared its ugly head. I had shows and summer festivals that got completely flushed (some leading up to the album dropping which were going to be for promoting pre-release) so it was a huge bummer but just as everyone in the music industry has felt the burn this year….so have I. It is what it is, eh?

What makes a good songwriter?

That’s a hard question and I think it’s more about the perspective of the listener. Writing what you know, truth, the flow of the lyrics…all of that is important and something you can’t really force. But who am I to make a call on whether someone is a “good” songwriter or not? Maybe if you’re trying to write the next “big hit” it’s something to really dissect on a level of what people are looking to market- but that’s not what songwriting is for everyone. For some people it’s the love of writing, for some it’s the love of singing. For some, writing might be their path to healing trauma or brokenness, and something intended for no one else to hear and that is equally as beautiful. For myself, it’s always been very therapeutic- I can’t write if I can’t “feel” (with or without music), whether it’s pulling from something long passed or in the present- maybe a mashup of it all! Being true to yourself, not stealing other people’s work. You know, authenticity and sincerity.

Do you enjoy the Great American Songbook?

I think it provides a beautiful collection of songs and musicians that really transformed an era and influenced artists for generations to come. Possibly more pronounced for older generations who really had a lot of that music to get through some insanely difficult times. As a HUGE lover of Broadway musicals and jazz alike, sure, I guess you could say I “enjoy” it.

In your opinion, what is the best song of all time?

That is a task of asking for the greatest star in the sky, to which I have no answer. I think this is another question that is certainly personal to the individual and is all about perspective. “I Love You More Than Words Can Say” by Otis Redding lands pretty high on my scoreboard- it just rips my soul wide open every time I hear it.

Tell me about the Madame Z & Jonah Udall.

I’m actually glad you brought that up because the Madame Z/Jonah Udall album and video you are referring to is not me and it’s been an endless pain to get some of the streaming services to separate her out. I know very little of her, but it looks like she dropped an album in 2016 and has been inactive (or had very little activity) since. But for the record, NOT the same Madame Z. Unless I sleeved up in the last couple of years and got my face done (which I suppose is entirely plausible…).

What was the title of your first original song? Did you record it?

I honestly cannot remember many of my early songs and certainly not my first. Definitely didn’t record it…. unless it’s lost somewhere on an old Maxwell UR90!

How did you get your name?

Madame Z was part of the name I used for a cake/baking business I had when I was hustling my way through grad school. The many hidden talents of Madame Z 😊. A childhood friend of mine came up with the name and it stuck. It’s kind of got narrowed to just “Madame Z” a handful of years ago when I got back into doing music independently. “Z” is the first letter of my last name and what I go by in the music world.

Tell me about your album, “Down The Rabbit Hole?

Down The Rabbit Hole was not conceived. As you’ll notice is the pattern, the album transpired through a series of very random and serendipitous events- I simply “followed the white rabbit”. A couple of years ago I was looking for musicians to put some of my acapella to music (I really have an endless store of them that I’m adding to/building on as time allows). I was traveling almost weekly for work (obviously pre-COVID) and I would mostly record ideas on my phone as they drifted into my head and then redo them on my DAW later as a random acapella, and build on them from there. Taking a guitar really wasn’t feasible to write on so I settled with my wireless mic for really long trips along with some random backing tracks or beats and in my search for additional recording options, stumbled across the Bandlab Link Analog Recording Interface….which led me to BandLab. It was literally EVERYTHNG I had been looking for in one place- the universe was just kind of like “ask and you shall receive” on an entirely different level- suddenly I was presented with access to an endless supply of amazing musicians all around the world. I don’t even have words to describe what that moment was like for me (nor how unbelievably TERRIFIED I was when I loaded my first acapella and the vulnerability, I felt suddenly being exposed to the world like that. Especially after taking such a drastic hiatus.). But that’s one thing that I truly appreciate about BandLab. It provides a platform for some remarkable musicians, hidden talent if you will, but allows for so many individuals who may otherwise not be willing to “put themselves out there” do exactly that. In turn, a lot of humility and respect (and for the others there’s a nice BLOCK option!). I have built some amazing projects on/through Bandlab and really found an amazing community to be a part of. And there is some UNBELIEVABLE hidden talent on there- folks that haven’t even played outside of their closet that will knock your bloody socks off. I joined BandLab in the beginning of 2019 (only last year!!) and if you had told me at that time, I would be releasing an album this summer, I would have laughed. I’m not saying everyone who gets onto BandLab is dropping an album, but it has connected me (by chance? fate? who knows…) to some amazing people and musicians, namely those who are on Down The Rabbit Hole which is 100% BandLab homegrown. The M Project is an unbelievable multi-instrumental engineering genius who put together 13 of the 15 songs on the album. Mauro S did the other two and Steve Keith (baselines.com) mastered the entire project and contributed bass on many. They were/are all stellar to work with and I hope to be able to work with them on many more projects down the road.

Are you a big fan of Lewis Carroll?

No, not in particular. I have, though, always been a fan of Alice in Wonderland for various reasons but the events that led up to the album title, the cover, music…really, ALL of it, were in fact and as I mentioned previously, very serendipitous in nature and the endless synchronicities too great to be ignored.

Your single Unicorn and Rainbow dropped today. Why did you write it for your daughter?

It’s really a song about relentlessness and perseverance. A hard truth that the world can be harsh but you have to stay true to yourself, stay grounded, protect your energy, do unto others, etc. but more than anything, that I will always be there for her. I started writing the melody for the chorus a few years ago on the piano and she sort of claimed it as her own, so I told her I would write it for her….and I did. It is a song of truth for all youth, I think. When we were finally able to put it to music, she was SO thrilled. She’s my die-hard artist (I can’t emphasize this enough) and asked if she could do the cover- as a way to inspire others regardless of the hardships and woes the world will/has thrown at us all. She hand-drew and then digitized the cover art so in a way- it’s our mutual gift of inspiration to the world.

What was her feeling about being part of your music?

She was a big part of my album cover too- I think sometimes she thinks it’s stellar and other days it’s “totally” not. (She’s 12, there’s really not much I can do in that arena). Guess it depends on how “cool’ mom is any given day. 😊 She is my artist to the core, so I think being part of the art-portion really excited her more than anything. The look at her face when she heard the final instrumental version coming out of the speakers was priceless though! She does love music (especially Melanie Martinez) and will sit in the studio with me sometimes when I’m recording but she likes the dancing more than the singing, I think. I also love dancing so I can’t blame her…. fortunately, she’s a lot better at it than I am!!

What is your favorite track on the album?

Each song has a personal backstory (or collaboration of them) and reason for being on the album. If you have time to listen from start to finish (and I mean, alllll the way through the end…), it really tells a cohesive story. My story. The Madame Z Story. But also intertwined with the stories of those who carry my vocals throughout the album. I think each song is a piece of me and each one tells a part of my story- like children, all unique- so I guess I can’t really answer this question.

How do you stay healthy while performing?

Ha. Performing…? That’s a thing…?

Very little recent performing but I don’t know? Hydrate? Eat well? Lots of yoga? I bike/skate as often as I can. I think just like I would try to stay healthy every day. Eat well, love yourself, get some exercise. Lots of tea- I really like tea.

It seems that you really enjoy Fridays. Why?

I work very long, arduous days during the week at my “real” (very corporate) job. My kids have been full-time schooling from home since the first week of March due to COVID. Fridays have always been a little exciting for me because it “generally” means I can get into music or a break from the “real world”. Although in all honesty…. I think it’s often an illusion and by the time Sunday night rolls around I’m going “did I even get that verse written…?”. Priorities and adulting can really be a bitch, man. But I am employed, and my kids are healthy so I count my blessings where I can.

What are your feelings about streaming music?

I personally love to be able to stream music…. playlists are what my childhood dreams were made of…. just before they existed 😊. Mixed tapes were awesome but a pain in the ass. I do remember making “radio station” sessions with friends- I guess that would be along the lines of a Podcast now- just with some music thrown in. I know streaming doesn’t bring in the money the way record sales did (as my daughter would say, “back in the old days”) but it is what it is, and times change. If you’re asking how I feel about streaming my own…equally stellar. Again, maybe not on making a lot of income if that’s what you’re in it for but it also gives people like me (a kid from the gutter who has run the streets and never once thought in her wildest dreams she’d be publishing music one day) a chance to be heard. To create a world of endless possibilities. It’s pretty rad.

Digital vs. vinyl?

Ahhh that’s really the question, right? Digital or analog? I have fond memories of listening to my parent’s record player and will probably always be a vinyl girl at heart. Maybe depends more on the mastering and if it was post-cd (although still don’t think digital sounds QUITE the same).

Tell me your feelings about how the Me-Too Movement has helped stopping the violent death of women all over the world?

Considering tens of thousands of women are violently killed worldwide every year (not to mention those of us who survive and are still living with the permanent scars and trauma inflicted by such violence), I think it’s long overdue. We’re finally addressing the elephant in the room and shining a light on ugly truths that have so long been swept under the proverbial rug. It’s a topic that makes a lot of people uncomfortable- like talking about a woman’s reproductive systems (unless they want to make laws regarding them). Do I think, that like any movement, some will use it for their own ill intentions and manipulate it accordingly? Of course. Do we still have a long, long way to go on the matter? Sure. But we have existed in a strongly dominant patriarchal society for far too long and I think a necessary balance is being restored to the planet. On many levels.

What did you do on International Women’s Day?

This year? Probably panicked because it was the weekend “my” world went into full COVID lockdown. I honestly can’t remember.

What is a Music Coma?

When you fall deeply into the arms of music and allow it to fully encapsulate you to the point nothing exists or matters but the vibrations (since “everything in life is vibration.”- Albert Einstein). You become one with the music. Probably the one kind of coma you would rather never come out of.

What are your feelings about the social uprising going on in the United States?

Very much like what I said about women, I think this is also long overdue. The prejudice in this country is still very alive and very real. This country has been broken in many ways for hundreds of years. It was “built” on the graves and with the blood of natives and immigrants alike. Is the damage irreparable? I don’t think so…but change is absolutely necessary. We must choose to learn from and improve upon our history. And if we can’t come together and find some form of peace and solidarity, then maybe there is no hope for us after all (even if I continue choosing to believe there is). Didn’t Einstein also say “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”? I hear he was something of a genius…😉

What is the mental health situation of the United States?

Dire. You only need to look at the overflow of the homeless population and blatant disregard for our veterans and others who are truly in need of help to see we are falling very, VERY short. So many tossed to the side, ignored and forgotten- it’s sad and disgusting and we should be ashamed. All the while Big Pharma sits on the sidelines, intravenously poisoning the masses and pushing out addicts.

How can the public help the doctors and nurses on the front line?

Stop being complete cesspools and morons!! Mask up…even if you think it’s a conspiracy. This isn’t about you or your personal beliefs. Don’t be an asshole or disrespectful and go out of your way to make other people uncomfortable. Or, god forbid, be such a douche canoe as to cough in their face because their ideas or opinions are different than yours. And can we stop making everything medical/pandemic-related into a political debate? Can’t we all just GET ALONG? “Imagine all the people, living life in peace….”. I’m still imagining.

Do you think kids should go back to school this fall?

I’m battling between the “should” versus “someone please take my children immediately” here…

What song from the past is in your mind right now? Moreover, what is the meaning that song means to you?

Honestly? I’ve been on a crazy “The Wiz” Soundtrack kick lately (those old musicals coming back to haunt me!). Specifically, Michael Jackson’s “You Can’t Win” …. I love that song and secretly listen to it on repeat along with the “Ease On Down The Road” duet with Diana Ross when I’m biking and fighting off negativity. “Don’t you carry nothin’ that might….be a load…!”. LOVE IT. It always guaranteed to make me feel just a little bit better.

How was your last live performance at Fox and Goose before the virus hit California?

It was a lot of fun, man, and if I had known it was the last, I would have rocked it out that much fucking harder!!

How do you feel the Covid-19 virus is going to affect the music business in the future?

It will certainly change things. It already has. Venues aren’t going to be able to make money from music for a while (with social distancing and only being able to fill to partial capacities compared to times in the past…?) and likewise neither will artists- so they’ll like have to couple it with other events…. but what? It will be interesting to see, and we are going to have to start getting creative!

What have you been doing with your self-quarantine?

Other than completely losing my mind…? Multiple times? 😊

I went from going, going, going (I used to travel for work almost every week) to being almost painfully stationary so it’s taken some adjustment. As I mentioned, the kids have consumed a lot of my time, but it has given me more time to work on music. It gave me time to focus on getting the album finished (or maybe that’s just in my head). It’s given me A LOT of time to work on myself personally and grow as human, a parent, a musician, an individual. Reflect on what’s important. I haven’t missed a Spanish lesson in over two months! I want to say I’ve had more time to write but somehow, I’m finding I have less time. Still working on that. I’ve been biking a lot (we’re talking mountain, not Harley…I’m not that “cool”).

Have you discovered or rediscovered any new hobbies?

More biking. Roller blading where I can find a blacktop, but I was “technically” already skating pre-quarantine. I’ve been trying to play on the piano more and I’ve also picked disk (frisbee!) golf back up again which is tons of fun and it’s easy to maintain “social distancing”. But with all the fires raging around me (being in Northern California), I’m kind of extra, EXTRA quarantined right now. And hoping it rains soon.

95% of people said that they have changed the way they watch television. Which is your favorite streaming channel?

I don’t watch much television but will hone in on documentaries and a lot of National Geographic (I am, after all, a geographer).

Many artists are doing nightly concerts over either YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. What are you planning to do?

Streaming video is something I’ve thought a lot about doing (and people have asked) but I seriously hate video so it’s a hurdle I’ve been trying to get over. I didn’t grow up doing video, I don’t even think a single childhood video of me exists. I truly LOVE the live audience and the energy from the crowd and being in my room, alone, just hanging out…it’s not something I love the idea of. I’m not against it…. but not really setup for it either.

Live Nations just started Live Nation from Home which are concerts from artist homes. An all-new virtual music hub keeping fans connected to their favorite artists featuring daily live streams, performances, new music, and more. Do you think it will be possible to make a living doing concerts this way?

A living? That might depend on what type of “living” you’re trying to make. I guess you can’t know if you never try but I see that being more successful for celebrity artists or those with millions of fans…I’m just not sure how everyone would be able to “compete”.

For smaller bands who do not play large crowds, this is not really an issue. How do you see bands going back to smaller venues and doing things like play for the door, with no guarantees?

I know everyone is craving live music and I think when it’s a possibility again, people will come out. Not sure when that will be, but I don’t think live music will ever really die. Maybe just go dormant for a while. I’m open to trying drive-in shows or other creative approaches.

With Social Distancing being the norm, do you feel that it may be the end of the music fest for the next couple of years?

I think it will certainly limit/cut them back but like I said, I don’t think live music will ever really die. It just might change how things are done and/or delay things for a while. Unfortunate, but it is what it is at the moment.

What about Holographic concerts in our living room?

Hahahaaaa yeah. That. I think it’s interesting. Cool for Tupac…? Could become a big thing…you never know! Post-mortem…. ABSOLUTELY.

How do you see yourself in the next five years?

If I told you where I was in life 5, 7, 10 years ago… it might blow your mind to know how far I’ve come and to hear of some of the dark realms I’ve climbed out of. I can only tell you that the next 5 years provides that many more steps for me to keep climbing up those rungs of life and potential and I will never know where it can take me if I don’t continue climbing. So, here’s to the endless possibilities!

Anything you would like to say in closing?

I would just like to thank you for inviting me to be a part of UnRated Magazine and for the interest in my music and the album. As I mentioned before, it’s all just fallen together…. whether by fate or a happy accident, who knows, but I am beyond grateful for how it has fallen together and for the amazing musicians that I have been fortunate enough to have come into my life throughout this endeavor- there really are no words. Music has inspired and saved me in many, many ways and I hope it continues to for years to come. Many musicians along my path have truly influenced and helped form me into the person I am today and if I can evoke those feelings in even one individual, it’s all been worth it for me. This is my gift to the world and all that I have to offer. 

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