Alpha Cat- Elizabeth McCullough, aka Alpha Cat. Singer, songwriter, and always collaborator. Dedicated to telling the truth as I see it, which admittedly can be a bit wacky (I am an Aquarius after all.)
Interview conducted on July 28, 2020
By Dan Locke
Singer/songwriter/producer Alpha Cat (aka Elizabeth McCullough) just released Live at Vox Pop, Brooklyn, NY July 21, 2005 as a $2 download, via https://alphacat.band/ with all proceeds being split between Bring Change to Mind, (https://bringchange2mind.org/) and the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation (https://www.borislhensonfoundation.org/). Both of these charities focus on ending discrimination towards those seeking help with mental health issues.
What is your upbringing?
I was born in Detroit, and when I was about two my family moved to a small town in Florida, where we lived out in the country. I was raised in a very dysfunctional household, with an alcoholic mother and a father who didn’t treat her very well. So there were a lot of shouting matches between them, and my mother was (seemingly to me) constantly walking out the front door at night after these fights, threatening to never come back. I never knew in the morning whether I would have a mother or not. It was not a happy childhood, to say the least…
How did you discover music?
I guess my first memory is of my mother playing Dionne Warwick’s Greatest Hits on constant repeat on our stereo. She obviously loved it, as did my whole family. But I loved it the most!!
How did you start to write music?
I guess I started right out of college, but I didn’t write what I considered to be a good song until after I moved to Jersey City, around 1988.
How did you get your first guitar and do you still have it?
That memory is a little hazy. I remember two guitars: I had an electric guitar at one point in my teens that I could plug into my stereo and play along with my records. What I remember playing to was Led Zeppelin, and at the time I thought I was playing exactly what Jimmy Page was playing! In retrospect, I’m sure it sucked! But I don’t remember how or when I got that guitar. I did receive an acoustic guitar at around age 16 for Christmas, and that is what I wrote and played on until I started gigging with a band in New York in the late 90’s. That one I still have.
How was it to find the exact guitar which was stolen from you 10 years ago?
Well, whether it is the EXACT SAME guitar, I highly doubt! But it was the same make, model, and color of what was my all-time favorite gig guitar, and I literally searched for ten years to find it! For the last three years, I had a Google search page tab open in my browser for that guitar and refreshed it constantly. Whenever one would show up, either the person wouldn’t respond to my email, or when I went to the listing it was already sold. Towards the end, one metallic blue one popped up, which I considered buying, but as soon as I got to the listing, it was gone. Then some black ones started showing up, but I held out for the white one because I used to really like sometimes wearing all white on stage with this white guitar. I guess I always loved the idea of it being the antithesis of the image of the “rock star” in all black because to me it represented being about light rather than darkness.
What was your first performance like?
My first performance was a wedding gig down on the Jersey Shore. I was living in Cambridge, Mass. with three male roommates and one of them had been in bands before, so we would rehearse my songs in his bedroom. He somehow got us this gig, and enlisted a bass player and drummer he had worked with before, but I must stress that we had ZERO rehearsals. So similarly to when I went skydiving, everyone assumed that because I had never performed for an audience before, that I was the one who would choke. But when we played the first song, neither the drummer nor the bass player had any idea what they were doing, my friend who actually knew the songs DID choke, and I was the only one who kept it together. After we finished the song I heard someone from the audience say “that was the worst crap I’ve ever heard in my life!” But fate mercifully intervened when after beginning the second song, some drunk drove off the road in front of the house where we were playing and onto the beach, and then all these cop cars showed up with lights and sirens blazing, and that was the end of that. We promptly got the hell out of there! But I really only performed one other time to an audience of maybe 3-5 people at a tiny bar in Jersey City with my then husband (and for some reason a keyboard, which I really don’t play.) But when I started singing, this belting voice somehow came out, which I had no idea I had in me! Before that, friends had compared my voice to Nico’s, because it was so soft, but when that voice came out of me was when I realized that maybe I could do this after all. And that was it until I started doing open mics in NYC in the mid-90’s.
What was the title of your first original song? Did you record it?
Oh my god, I couldn’t possibly remember! And I’m certain it was not recorded!
How did you start the Alpha Cat band?
Short answer, I was in an astrology class with a guy who was also a drummer. I had been gigging as Meerkat with some other guys before that, but it was nothing official, even though most of them were actually the players on Real Boy. Anyway, this astrologer/drummer offered to start a band with me, and anyone who’s ever started a band knows that once you have a drummer, the rest is cake. So I put an ad in the Village Voice for guitar and bass players who might want to play in a “dark pop” band. Everything else was karma. Angela Babin and Lori Bingel answered the Voice ad, and we just clicked. And Derek Dragotis I met in a singing workshop I just happened to take one weekend. We hit it off, I loved his voice, (which is much better than mine!) and I asked him to sing harmonies in my band – and he was up for it.
How did Alpha Cat get its name?
I was designing the cover artwork for Real Boy with the intent of going under the name Meerkat. But it just didn’t look right. So I remembered one of my sisters’ mentioning the idea of the alpha dog, and obviously being a cat person, I chose to try alpha cat. I came up with a cool logo and it looked great to me. And then when I got the actual band together, it turned out to be three women and two men, so with the obvious femme association of cat (vs. dog), it made perfect sense! I also liked that it connoted female empowerment.
Tell me about your cats Fiona/Pedro?
Can’t talk about Fiona and Pedro without mentioning their predecessors. In Atlanta my first cat as an adult was a kitten, who I named Pamela (after Victoria Principal’s character in Dallas) because she was so unbelievably sweet. But on the way home from a visit with my parents in Savannah, with Pamela in the front seat, I got an Arby’s roast beef sandwich and gave her a bunch of the meat. She died that night, and I haven’t gone to an Arby’s since. Next kitten was Billy, who is represented both in image and voice on Pearl Harbor, and the smartest cat I have ever known until Pedro. He died at 17 after a year of fighting cancer. Meanwhile, when Billy was about 5, I got two kittens for my husband for his birthday, and one of them, Sally, who was too good for this world, died very young, but was survived by her sister Paula. After Billy died I realized that I had begun the pattern of having an heir and a spare, one older cat and one younger, so that when the older cat passed my devastation was lessened by having another cat left to love and comfort me. Then there was the yellow tabby kitten, who had escaped a feral family (I’m outta here! Got better places to be!) and was mewing in my backyard one rainy night. When I finally went out with a flashlight, he literally climbed a huge pile of construction rubble, got into my arms and started purring. I never wanted three cats, and was determined not to keep him, but every time he would do something really bad he would follow it with something so cute that I finally gave up, and his name at the vet was changed from “Stray” to Joey.
When Paula died in 2007 following my breakdown, I was especially heartbroken, and when I made the move to Manhattan decided that Joey needed a kitty companion, since he had always had at least one. One day I decided to go to Bide-a-Wee, a great shelter on NYC’s east side, with the intent of getting another kitten, but they didn’t have any. By that point the shelters had taken to naming their cats, so they suggested Pedro, who at one year old, was much less likely to be adopted because of his age. When I met him he had been hit by a car, had his jaw wired, and had some kind of respiratory disease. But when they put us in the “getting acquainted” room and I got him in my arms, he immediately head-butted me, and I was a goner. I couldn’t take him home for weeks, until the wires were removed and his illness cleared up, so I would actually visit him at the shelter regularly until the day I was able to take him home. This was still at the beginning of the worst period of my depression, so even though some of my family members thought it was stupid for me to get another cat, my therapist actually saw it as a good thing: a sign that I had somehow committed to living. So I credit Pedro in no small part with keeping me alive.
Then, not long after Joey passed, one month shy of 21 (!), I went to the ASPCA, again with the intent of getting a kitten, but there were no kittens to be had, only a shy little black and white two year old girl named Fiona, who unlike Pedro, did not warm to me at all. But they explained how because of her age and the fact that she was black she was most likely to be euthanized, and I couldn’t bear the thought of that. So after she came home with me she hid for a long time before eventually warming up and becoming very sweet (as well as quite eccentric.) But as I see it now, while Pedro helped keep me alive during the long years of my depression, Fiona (who is in my lap as I write) coming into my life marked the beginning of my healing. I don’t think I will ever get another kitten. But I do believe that when you are ready to get your perfect pet, they are ready and waiting for you! And I would only accept someone buying a cat from a breeder for health reasons like allergies. ADOPT, ADOPT, ADOPT!! You will not regret it! If you raise any animal with care and respect for their uniqueness, and simply love them, you will have an amazing animal. Because every single one of my cats have been unique and amazing in their own ways!
Your album Live at VOX Pop Brooklyn NY July 21, 2005, just got released.
Why are you asking for only a $2 donation per download for it at the present time, with all of the money going to support mental health?
Well, we are four months into a global pandemic, with so many people having lost their jobs, struggling to put food on the table, or homeless, and now many more are in imminent danger of being evicted! I figured $2 was small enough that a lot more people could afford it, and it is actually $2 to make it easier to split exactly into two. There is of course the option to pay more, and some people have been very generous. And it is also possible to listen to the entire gig for free at least once, if you have no money, which is why the lyrics are right on the page below the download/play link. And mental health? After my lifetime of issues, decades of therapy, and three hospitalizations, I can’t say I’m an expert, but I do know an awful lot about these things. And it was pretty obvious to me from the very beginning of the pandemic that, as I say on the page, that this would a really become a THING.
What do you think is the mental health situation of the United States?
I think it is very clear, as reflected in the behavior and actions of our leaders, that we have found ourselves in a very sad state indeed. That does not mean that I don’t see the reason for hope.
How can the public help the doctors and nurses on the front line?
It’s very simple. By social distancing and wearing a damn mask! It’s not about you anymore, it’s about caring about others now. I quote TMZ’s Harvey Levin: “when it comes down to it, believe the scientists, not the politicians!” This is NOT A POLITICAL ISSUE, nor is it a limitation on ANYONE’S FREEDOM! Unless you consider it your right to endanger, and possibly kill, others! I was in NYC watching the news as they were using steam shovels to push huge pine boxes full of bodies into mass graves on Hart Island because they had run out of funeral parlors, morgues, then refrigerated shipping containers, then unrefrigerated shipping containers, to store the bodies of all the Covid dead. It is irrelevant how this virus got here. It is not irrelevant that an entity whose main platform for election was to build walls to keep people out. Well, guess what? No wall can keep out a virus.
Did the idea of the live album come about because you found your old Sony Minidisk Walkman from the early 2000s?
Well before the pandemic, I had already been made aware of and began donating to, Taraji P. Henson’s mental health initiative to assist the underserved black and brown communities in overcoming the stigma of seeking help for mental health problems. When I heard about Glenn Close’s Bring Change to Mind, which is dedicated to helping any and all overcome this stigma and to gain access to care, it became a no-brainer. I really only decided to sell it because I knew I couldn’t do enough on my own to help everyone who was going to need it. So listening to this live set off the minidisc recording, and realizing it was kind of fun, pretty good, and had songs in it that had yet to be released, I felt it would be nice to offer up something that had not yet been available.
Tell me about Thatched Roof Glass House?
It is seven tracks from the album I was making in LA in 2006, for a record to be called Venus Smile (the title song of which is included in the live set,) the only ones that had been completed, with vocals, before I had my breakdown that July. To this day I have NO memory of recording the six vocals that were done in LA. I’m honestly not even sure where they came from. Higher power perhaps?
What is your favorite track on the album?
I guess right now I would have to say the title track, because I think that while on the surface it is an upbeat kind of love song, it actually speaks in a deeper sense of what is going on in the world, where literal, social and ideological, ARCHAIC structures and shrines to hypocrisy are being torn down. The people in their glasshouses that have long been throwing stones at others, rather than looking at themselves, are finally being exposed in an exponentially more rapid fashion. The revolution is indeed now being televised!
How do you stay healthy while touring?
I’ve actually only TOURED once. All I remember about that is that I wouldn’t allow myself to eat cheese, despite the fact that I absolutely loved it, and brought along HUGE BLOCKS OF CHEESE for everyone else in the van to eat. I was aware that eating dairy affects your voice, so it was a noble sacrifice on my part!. I also carried some of those throat coat tablets to help keep my voice healthy. That did not stop me from getting food poisoning at one of the venues that was also a Japanese restaurant, where they fed us for free. I was on stage afterward literally holding back vomit, at which I was somehow successful. But that night especially, and the next few days, were NOT pretty, and luckily we had a couple of days’ break for me to recover for the next show! Other than that tour, I have also done a number of one-off shows in LA at various venues, and in London (UK) at the legendary 12 Bar Club. But I always had at least one other person with me in London, and in LA I would get together a band, do a few rehearsals, and gig as a band. Always my preference. And that’s how I met, and hit it off, with Jason Smith, the drummer (and co-producer) on Venus Smile and of course TRGH.
What are your feelings about streaming music in general?
As an artist, of course, it sucks that we get paid $0.0016 per stream, YouTube doesn’t pay you until you have 1000 subscribers, and the only people who seem to want actual CDs are radio stations, but I never got into music for the money. Because if you are doing that, you’re in it for the wrong reasons. And of course, there are plenty of people who did and have managed to become quite wealthy in the process. I just wish I saw fewer artists flaunting cash, cars, yachts, and mansions, and more giving back to the poor people who actually BOUGHT THEIR MUSIC. I know some do give back, but I mean, who needs multiple mansions or million dollar cars? Especially now? No one.
Digital vs. vinyl?
Of course, right now vinyl is being re-embraced by young people, but it is very expensive to press vinyl, and not feasible for anyone without major label backing. I still have a lot of vinyl myself, with a nearly new turntable and speakers that stopped working after a couple of plays, and I’m not about to go out right now and buy more gear when there are far more important things to do with my money. I can basically look up any artist or song and watch or listen to them on Youtube, and I have always had a three song rule: if I love at least three songs off an album, I will buy it. But the majority of music is digital, and that’s just the way it is. It does enable anyone with a phone or computer to listen to music that they might otherwise not have access to. And I see that as a good thing.
I noticed on your Facebook page you have Throwback Thursday. Which a lot of people do. They usually focus on themselves. But you are focusing on other artists. Have you had any feedback from the artists you post?
Let’s make something really clear. I LOVE music! The first thing I do in the morning is listen to music, and whenever I see or hear about an artist on the radio or any of my favorite shows, I make a note to check them out. If there is a song that I particularly like, I will post it. So what I post is only about my activities when I have something to announce, otherwise, it is just me sharing my tastes with people that seem to like my music. But to answer your question, no one famous has taken any notice of my posting about them. Why would they? But I do have relationships with a few of the people I’ve posted about, one of whom I’ve known for a while, a promising songwriter who as now goes by Freddy MerCovid, and has done several pointed Covid-related parodies, and so is doing really relevant work right now. Another artist, Jamal Hassan, I came upon randomly at a poetry slam in London last July, and we have agreed that the next song I write will be with one of his poems which just struck a very deep chord in me (and this is a first, writing music to someone else’s words) and we have consequently become close friends. And lastly, Adam and the Hellcats, another from the UK who I met on Facebook, and who was selling a song to benefit the NHS. Something I wanted to get behind. Only wish we had an equitable, reasonable, and affordable health care system in this country!
What are your feelings about the social uprising going on in the United States?
Well, as we see the issues of civil rights and actual, true, equality being embraced by people of ALL races, genders, nationalities, and sexual orientations; and people standing up for the rights of OTHERS, it gives me a lot of hope! That to me is a very healthy sign of the beginning of a true global revolution and a transformation for the better. Literally and figuratively we are witnessing the tearing down of structures that have in actuality been in place since the beginning of civilization. These particular structures were built upon the celebration of people whose legacies were built upon the societal enslavement of those considered “less than.” And it was, and has always been, only through the contributions of the immigrants and the slaves that the luxurious manner in which the wealthy, the “haves” lived, made possible. In this country, I particularly object to the statues of Columbus, who came upon an existing civilization, decided it was a beautiful country, and told the Native Americans that they didn’t kill to “Get out!” These statues could of course be put into context in museums, but I believe no longer have a place out in the world at large. I’m certainly not the first to point this out, but the Germans haven’t put up statues of Hitler!
What song from the past is in your mind right now? And what does that mean to you?
This answer is a bit embarrassing and more than a little revealing, not because they aren’t great songs, but because it shows where a significant part of my heart has been this year. So in chronological order: #1:Tom Petty’s “Crawling Back to You,” from his incredible Wildflowers album, which I remember listening to with an old boyfriend as we drove down the Pacific Coast Highway from San Francisco to LA, and this drive is actually referred to in the song. #2: Nada Surf’s “Inside of Love” (the live version from bei tv noir,) which I first heard on a demo given to me by their drummer Ira Elliot when the band was on a break, and we were discussing the possibility of his becoming Alpha Cat’s drummer. That demo remains one of the most exquisite set of recordings I have ever heard, but unfortunately, my CD of it was damaged and I’ve received no response to my pleas for a replacement. When I heard what the producers did to that song in particular, once Nada Surf was back on a major label, I would go so far as to say that recording was such a perversion of the purity and vulnerability I had listened to incessantly on the demo, that it made me angry! And cemented my decision never to sign with a major label! Of course, the content of the song itself resonated with me then, and it still does today. #3: the Fray’s “Over My Head (Cable Car)” which I immediately purchased upon first hearing it, again, because of personal identification with it. And finally #4: Kacey Musgraves’ “Slow Burn” which can be seen as both a mantra for the times we are in now, as well as another romantic fantasy on my part…
How do you feel the Covid-19 virus is going to affect the music business going forward into the future?
That remains to be seen in the larger sense, but what I have seen already is a lot of creativity emerging, with videos shot on the cheap on cell phones, live streaming concerts that are accessible to a much larger audience than they ever could have been previously, and from which musicians can still make some money while keeping people safe. That’s just two example of ways in which I can see the music business changing permanently. And a way of giving artists who might not have the funds to promote to, and so reach, a larger audience despite the previous limitations; opportunities they would not otherwise have had. To me that’s all good!
What have you been doing with your self-quarantine?
Listed in order of importance:
1. Last July I discovered a group that looks at how the trauma and dysfunction that we experienced as children created defense mechanisms that we still use as adults, even though they no longer serve us. As a result, I have been able to identify and remove from my life, people, (some of whom have been in my life for thirty years,) whom I realized were simply reenacting the deeply damaging patterns of reward and abuse I suffered as a child. The beauty of this is that for every toxic person I let go of, a new, amazing, compassionate, and loving person appears to take their place! So, because of the pandemic, and being forced to communicate over the phone or through Zoom, I have been engaging in TONS of mutually supportive conversations, sometimes, actually USUALLY hours long! These have allowed me to heal and thrive in a way that I never imagined possible. So this has been a truly engaging and soul-enriching time for me.
2. Basically last July I realized that I have essentially been running my own label. I have had to find and hire the people essential in order to do this, learning, (making mistakes,) and making decisions as to HOW to do all this! This required a lot of catch-up on my part, and a of relearning how the business works NOW. This includes doing everything I can do myself, like building and maintaining my website, overseeing the mixing and mastering of TRGH and the live gig, hiring, directing and collaborating with all my video creators, and the creation and upkeep of my Youtube channel, as well as running my social media and the promotion process etc. the list goes on! And I have been able to integrate all the experience I gained from the promotions of my first two records, including attending many music business conferences and learning about music publishing. And of course, I’ve gained a lot of insight into what NOT to do, and THE CONSEQUENCES OF WORKING WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE! I feel extremely lucky to have finally found the RIGHT ones, and I can’t neglect giving shout outs to my friend and publicist Howard Wuelfling, and my mixing and mastering genius, I would even go so far as to say my musical husband (!) Brett Thorngren, who has become not only my biggest champion, but one of my closest friends.
Have you discovered or rediscovered any new hobbies?
I spend a lot of time researching and creating all my social media posts. So I don’t know if you could call it a hobby, but I’ve had to brush up on my research and writing skills that I initially really honed in graduate school.
Many artists are doing nightly concerts over either YouTube, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. What are you planning to do?
I’d like to do that eventually, but I’m not ready.
Do you think it will be possible to make a living doing concerts this way?
I think it is quite likely because there is a very significant advantage to this process: That you can reach a GLOBAL AUDIENCE, and you can still also charge less so that more people are able to actually see the concerts!
Live Nation is starting to do the first-ever U.S. drive-in concert series — LIVE FROM THE DRIVE-IN — This will bring fans a live music tailgating experience unlike any other, kicking off July 10-12 in Indianapolis, IN, Nashville, TN, and St. Louis, MO. Brad Paisley will headline performances in all three cities, marking the start of a much-anticipated return to in-person live events. Darius Rucker and Jon Pardi will also headline the series. Would be willing to do this kind of drive-in concert?
The short answer is yes. But I am not ready to do that yet.
For smaller bands who do not play large crowds, this is not really an issue. How do you see bands going back to smaller venues and doing things like play for the door, with no guarantees?
It’s been some time since I played small clubs, or any venues at all really. And I don’t know if I see going back to that myself. But for me, I always hated large concerts, because I was spoiled by being able to see bands I loved in small clubs. Again, I don’t know how this will play out, but I imagine that small clubs will eventually return because new bands will always need and want a place to play. At that level it is not about money, it’s about exposure.
In addition, at the present time for a band to go on tour from one state to another, they may need to self-quarantine for 14 days. How is that going to work?
I don’t see it happening, except for hugely successful acts whose labels can afford private planes. But even that doesn’t seem a good idea, or even workable.
With Social Distancing being the norm, do you feel that it may be the end of the music fest for the next couple of years?
Most likely.
What about Holographic concerts in our living room?
That idea was, and always will be to me, just too creepy! I’d rather watch a video of the performer whether or not they are still alive!
How do you see yourself in the next five years?
My ultimate plan is to expand my label, Aquamarine Records, for which there is already a trademark pending, in a way that will incorporate what I’ve learned through my time in the music business. In the sense of, DIY as much as possible, hiring and working with the people necessary for promotion in a very considered way, and giving the artists as much control over their process as possible, as well as fair and reasonable publishing deals and the opportunity to own their masters from the outset. Of course, I need at least some measure of success with Alpha Cat first in order to give the label legitimacy so that the people who we need to take notice will.
Anything you would like to say in closing?
I will say, that when the process of promoting this record began, I fully intended that my personal political views be completely invisible, because I felt that my music was written for everyone, not any one race, gender, political party, or sexual identification. Because the songs are about living life, and any of my sexual or personal lyrics are veiled behind metaphors. But when, at the outset of this global pandemic, wearing MASKS became politicized, I was totally inspired by a tweet from Kumail Nanjiani, writer of “the Big Sick” a movie which details his now-wife’s immune disease. He was getting trolled on social media for posting about the importance of social distancing, and he responded with, and I have to paraphrase, but it was essentially this: “My favorite person in the world is immunocompromised, and I will continue to post about this until I have ZERO followers left!” So that opened the floodgates for me. I still try to be sensitive, and to avoid polarizing comments when possible, but I am completely on board with his sentiment. What is happening right now is simply too important, too historic, for me not to attempt to expose people to certain realities that I feel are imperative that people be made aware of.
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